An Almost- Three Year Old

I have been going to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Easton for a few months now. I usually do not take the kids into the sermon because they are crazy and I am alone. But this past Sunday was the day to bless animals so I took the kids with me because I thought they would like to see the animals in there.  It started out ok. Noah was very interested in the songs book and pretended to read.  They both liked it when everyone started to sing.  They listened when a story was told about what would we ask animals and they growled whenever the woman talked about an alligator or tiger.  But then the number of dogs in the sermon were getting restless and a few started to bark! Noah then kept saying "WHAT THE HECK!" really loud. I had to take them out of there. I was embarrassed, but in a good way:)

 

Today after a CRAZY morning I picked up Noah from school 15 minutes late because my stupid car broke down and it was the soonest I could get there! (I did call them to let them know)  So, when I get there the teacher sees me and immediately starts to laugh and tells me how Noah had everyone laughing today. I thought- Oh NO!!  She said that today was the first day of "chapel time". (His school at the church and they get chapel time. Not really religious, they tell me...)  And I say, "oh NO, did he say 'what the heck'?" and she says "No, he didn't say that" she had to stop because she was laughing too hard!  "He raised his hand and said that he was up all night drinking beer!"  I was laughing so hard!! I have NO idea where he got that from! We have not had beer at the house in months! hilarious.  But what is even funnier is that when they were asked what they want to pray for ( they usually just pray for mommy's and daddy's and such) a little girl raised her hand and said, "lets pray for the BEER!"     Oh my!!!!

I was changing Marlee and Noah came over. He said, "OH NO!! What happened!! Where is her penis?!"
I told him- "remember, boys have a penis but girls have a vagina."
Noah-  "A ginna?"
me-  "A VAgina?"
Noah-  "NO GIRLS HAVE A PENIS!!!!"
Me-  "No, sweetie, girls have a vagina and boys have a penis. Mommy has a vagina"
Noah- "NO MOMMY HAS A PENIS!!!"
Me- "No you silly Nunz.."
Noah- "MOMMY HAS A PPPPEEENNNISSSSS!!!!!!"  He was pissed!!
Me- "ok"